View source for List of pokemon

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, BULBASAUR! USE SEED BOMB!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a seed bomb detonates before bulbasaur gets to fire, leaving you with a dark smudge in the dirt.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, IVYSAUR! USE WORRY-SEED!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a gust of wind blows worry seed back towards ivysaur, causing him/her to retreat back into the pokeball.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VENUSAUR! USE SOLARBEAM!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, acid rain clouds appear, not only blocking the sun but turning venusaur blackened tree stump.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CHARMANDER! USE GROWL!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a pack of wild dogs suddenly appear and your charmander is eaten.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CHARMELEON! USE FIREFANG!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a wild turkey stumbles into charmeleon's firefang, resulting in a beautiful turkey roast!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CHARIZARD! USE FIRESPIN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, your too low level for charizard to obey, charizard turns around and burns you to a crisp!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SQUIRTLE! USE AQUA TAIL!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a small scale earthquake flips squirtle over and he is unable to roll back up.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, WARTORTLE! USE RAIN DANCE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, american indians appear with lawyers threatening to sue for the use of their RAIN DANCE without paying royalties.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, BLASTOISE! USE FLASH CANNON!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a small child was in the vicinity, causing the FBI and CIA to arrest you for indecent exposure.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CATERPIE! USE STRINGSHOT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a large flock of seagulls swoop down and peck caterpie to death.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, METAPOD! USE HARDEN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Luckily, a erectile dysfuntion pharmaceutical product rep walks past, offering you millions of dollars to star in prime time commercial with TARGET PLAYER.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, BUTTERFREE! USE SILVERWIND!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, entomologists in the area spot butterfree, resulting in a new exhibit at the local museum "GIANT BUTTERFLIES".

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, WEEDLE! USE POISON STING!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a speeding ferrari zoooms past, squishing weedle flatter then a pancake.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KAKUNA! USE IRON DEFENSE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a pesticide plane flies down spraying it's vile toxins in the area, Kakuna melts into a hardened resin.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, BEEDRILL! USE TWINEEDLE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a group of 20 japanese hornets attack, ripping beedril to tiny pieces.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PIDGEY! USE ROOST!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, ROOST is exactly what pidgey does, turning to look at you and then sleeping.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PIDGEOTTO! USE GUST!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a large plane sucks pidgeotto into it's engine along with many other pidgey, resulting in a miracle plane crash with no deaths or injuries to passengers!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PIDGEOT! USE WHIRLWIND!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a roaming hunters shoot down the bird and pidgeot ends up above a fire place stuffed.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, RATTATA! USE BITE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, RATTATA has fleas and ends up causing the next black plagues to in eastern europe, resulting in a purge of rats!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, RATICATE! USE HYPER FANG!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a lack of oral hygiene results in raticates teeth falling out before it can bite, you are stuck with a large dental bill and a toothless rat!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SPEAROW! USE FLY!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, SPEAROW cant fly long distances, thus you fall 1000ft into a hotspring filled with preop transvestites!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, FEAROW! USE DRILL PECK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Seeing this a roaming woodpecker develops an attraction to fearow and they both elope to an old wood forest in canada!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, EKANS! USE ACID!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, all that appears is ekans appears to be shedding its old skin and is preoccupied!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ARBOK! USE GASTRO ACID!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Luckily, a pharmaceutical product rep walks past, offering you millions of dollars to star in prime time commercial with TARGET PLAYER for Acid Reflux!


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PIKACHU! USE VOLT TACKLE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, before the pokeball can even open, it is crushed by an airborne whale.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, RAICHU! USE THUNDERWAVE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, before the pokeball can even open, it electrocutes you doing over 5000 damage!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SANDSHREW! USE SAND ATTACK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you are arrested for attempting to throw sand at small children!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SANDSLASH! USE DOUBLEKICK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, travelling egyptions enslave you and sandshrew, forcing you to construct the pyramids!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, NIDORAN (FEMALE)! USE DOUBLE KICK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a roaming jigglypuff uses sing, causing all people in the vicinity to fall asleep!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, NIDORINA! USE FLATTER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Flatter succeeds a little to well, resulting in multiple stalkers hunting you!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, NIDOQUEEN ! USE BODY SLAM!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a rotten tree falls, crushing the pokeball and destroying your favourite hat!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, NIDORAN (MALE)! USE HORN DRILL!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, nidoran has hit puberty and has better things to horn drill, thus ignoring you and retreating back to his computer!


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, NIDORINO! USE FOCUS ENERGY!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a MOSQUITO prevents any focus, and eventaully forces nidorino to leave in frustration!


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, NIDOKING! USE MEGAHORN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, spotting a moonstone filled cave, nidoking decides to leave you and help his brothers evolve!


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CLEFAIRY! USE WAKE-UP SLAP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, noone is asleep, putting clefairy in a state of confusion!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CLEFABLE! USE METRONOME!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, the large hadron collider is summoned and you are trampled by ANTI science idiots!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VULPIX! USE WILL-O-WISP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, VULPIX spots a mirror and decides fixing its fur is far more important!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, NINETAILS! USE EMBER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Luckily, a travelling manga artist decides NINETAILS will make the perfect cartoon villain, you end up as an extra on NARUTO!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, JIGGLYPUFF! USE SING!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, the pokemon instead starts angrily doodling on Player's face with a permanent marker.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, WIGGLYTUFF! USE DOUBLESLAP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, before the pokeball can open a large sea container filled with snakes falls on top of you.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ZUBAT! USE SUPERSONIC!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a rather tasty apple seem to have been detected between zubat and the target, zubat decides the apple is more important.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GOLBAT! USE BITE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, vampire hunters mistake golbat for a vampire bat, killing golbat with a number of wooden stakes.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ODDISH! USE SWEET SCENT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, SWEET SCENT attract a variety of chefs, and eventually ODDISH is chopped up and used in a vegetable soup.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GLOOM! USE MEGADRAIN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a group of emos decide to recruit gloom as there mascot, eventually you become the leader of their cult and you are assainated by black ops.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VILEPLUME! USE PETAL DANCE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, petal dance has no effect, however the trees in the area seem strip of all their leaves...

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PARAS! USE LEECHLIFE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, PARAS is far too timid to leave his/her pokeball and prefers to stay inside.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PARASECT! USE STUN SPORE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, travelling movie stars, decide crab would be good for dinner and find the mushroom on parasect will just add to the flavour.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VENONAT! USE SLEEP POWDER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a group of girls find venonat to be cute and cuddly, you are found by police sleeping with 4 hot chicks and immediately arrested for suspected date rape.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VENEMOTH! USE POISON POWDER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a group of women spotting the moth, decide to kill it with bug spray, venemoth dies a slow painful death slowly melting from the inside.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DIGLET! USE DIG!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, DIGLET digs too deep and is burned by magma from the earth.


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DUGTRIO! USE GIGA IMPACT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, GIGA IMPACT splits the earth in two, PLAYER, TARGETPLAYER and DUGTRIO fall into a massive crack and starve to death waiting to be rescued.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MEOWTH! USE PAYDAY!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a band of roaming hobo's spot meowth and you spend the day hiding from their harassment.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PERSIAN! USE NASTY PLOT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, your disgusting lack of wealth causes persian to abandon you for a richer fatter and uglier oil magnate.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PSYDUCK! USE WATERPULSE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Psyduck has a headache and is unable to continue.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GOLDUCK! USE ZEN HEADBUTT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Golduck decides to head to hawaii, and using its swimming abilities wins the World Ssrfing championships and thus resulting in you having the best pokemon ever!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MANKEY! USE KARATE CHOP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a stack of vengeful roof tiles rain down havok upon mankey for breaking their breathren.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PRIMEAPE! USE CROSS CHOP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, your primeape breaks its arm and you are stuck with a hefty hospital bill.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GROWLITHE! USE GROWL!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, growlithe catches the scent of cocaine in your pocket, and alerts police in the area of your misdeeds.


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ARCANINE! USE FIREFANG!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, arcanine spots a werewolf under the moon and is stunned by its magnificence. Arcanine proceeds to howl up at the moon til daybreak.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, POLIWAG! USE BELLY DRUM!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a small child mistake poliwag for a balloon and somehow successfully fills poliwag with helium, you watch as poliwag floats away.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, POLIWHIRL! USE MUD BOMB!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, large frog comes along and eats poliwhirl before it you could say OMFG FROG!.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, POLIWRATH! USE DYNAMIC PUNCH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, runs across a soccer pitch and is mistaken for the ball, resulting in one bruised and battered poliwrath and an awkward soccer match.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ABRA! USE HIDDEN POWER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, ABRA only knows teleport, and thus teleports away.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KADABRA! USE PSYCHIC!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, KADABRA spots a giant spoon and cant resist the challenge of bending it to his powerful will.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ALAKAZAM! USE FUTURESIGHT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, ALAKAZAM sees the future and it is your DEATH! ALAKAZAM teleports leaving you to face his/her disturbing foretelling alone.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MACHOP! USE SEISMIC TOSS!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, MACHOP has a sudden mood swing from taking excess steroids, causing you to have an epiphany about marriage and the wonders of a single life style.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MACHOKE! USE REVENGE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you miss point and target a tree, enviromentalist in a bloody rage pummel Machoke to a pulp.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MACHAMP! USE SUBMISSION!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, MACHAMP does not see you as his/her master and you end up being the submissive in this instance.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, BELLSPROUT! USE GROWTH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a mexican radioactive fighting tree in the area recieves the full benefit of growth, immediately destroying you a mix of pankration and krav maga.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, WEEPINBELL! USE WRING OUT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, WEEPINBELL immediately attempts to bite your head off and you end up running around like a moron with a weepinbell on you.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VICTREEBEL! USE SPIT UP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, his aims is very off you end up covered in saliva...ewww!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, TENTACOOL! USE BARRIER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Barrier fails and you are hit in the face from a stray rock, breaking your nose.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, TENTACRUEL! USE TOXIC SPIKES!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, TARGETPLAYER was wearing lvl 10 armor, TARGETPLAYER proceeds to roast you and your pokemon.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GEODUDE! USE ROCK BLAST!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you stand too close, resulting in you being BLASTED AWAY!


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GRAVELER! USE ROCK POLISH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Luckily, you discover the rock does get shinier and is actually a diamond. You retire a millionaire with lazygamer looking after you.


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GOLEM! USE STONE EDGE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, GOLEM is mistaken for rock candy and breaks TARGET PLAYER's teeth.


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PONYTA! USE STOMP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, PONYTA stomps on your foot, then proceeds to drag you through a cactus farm!


PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, RAPIDASH! USE FLARE BLITZ!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Cyclone BERTHA blows you and rapidash up to cloud city, where you suffocate from lack of oxygen.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SLOWPOKE! USE YAWN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, YAWN is contagious, PLAYER YAWNS, TARGETPLAYER YAWNS and SLOWPOKE YAWNS.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SLWOBRO! USE AMNESIA!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, TEAM MAFIA comes and kidnaps SLOWBROW, except when asked for a ransom address SLOWBRO suffers amnesia. You find slowbro's body in an alleyway the next day.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MAGNEMITE! USE MAGNET BOMB!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, MAGNET BOMB is attracted to your watch, luckily magnet bomb fails to detonate. HOwever you still wet your pants and are the laughing stock of the town.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MAGNETON! USE LOCK-ON!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, the target walks behind a box and you fial to target anything.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, FARFETCH'D! USE SLASH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a random meteorite slam into farfetch'd skull, great duck for dinner!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DODUO! USE ACUPRESSURE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, the two heads on doduo start fighting pecking itself to death.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DODRIO! USE TRIATTACK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a small grenade detonates before the pokemon can materialize, blowing you and the pokeball into oblivion.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SEEL! USE WATERSPORT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a travelling circus captures seel and forces you to learn to juggle flaming torchs. Hey! atleast you can juggle now!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DEWGONG! USE SHEER COLD!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a iceman comes along and challenges you to a race. Dewgong uses icebeam and you spends the day racing iceman around paths of solid ice!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GRIMER! USE SLUDGE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, the blob appears and attempts to mate with GRIMER, you spend the day running and the night in constant fear.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MUK! USE GUNK SHOT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you contract influenza from muk and spend the day in hospital too weak to move.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SHELLDER! USE LEER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, shellder's tongue gets caught on a ice cold pole and you spend the next five minutes breathing hot air on it to melt the ice.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CLOYSTER! USE SPIKE CANNON!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a pearl diver spots cloyster and attempts to bribe you for its huge black pearl shaped head. The question is will you sell?

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GASTLY! USE HYPNOSIS!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, TARGETPLAYER has a mirror and both you and gastly run around like chickens for the rest of the day.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, HAUNTER! USE DARK PULSE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, haunter decides to goof off instead, leaving you trapped in a room with no doors.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GENGAR! USE NIGHTMARE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, sleep is not on TARGET PLAYER's agenda and nightmare fails.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ONIX! USE BIND!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a large rock giant spots onix and decides it'll make a nice necklace for his rock giant wife.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DROWZEE! USE POUND!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, while pounding TARGET PLAYER, drowzee farts and suffocates you both suffocate.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, HYPNO! USE SWITCHEROO!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you lose your rare limited edition pokemon league hat for a smelly old truckers cap.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KRABBY! USE VICE GRIP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, TARGETPLAYER is coated in a layer of oil, making it impossible to grip him/her.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KINGLER! USE CRAB HAMMER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, KIngler attempts to crush TARGET PLAYER but misses and crushes a rare ferrari enzo, you are bankrupt paying for damages.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VOLTORB! USE SPARK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, VOLTORB decides to self-destruct instead, blasting you away!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ELECTROBE! USE CHARGE BEAM!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a rather rich billionaire decides to market electrodes as exploding joke pool balls, pool and snooker but with explosives!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, EXEGGCUTE! USE BARRAGE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a large mob of emus trample over exeggcute, luckily one egg survives which you decide to replace with an egg in your breakfast. mmmm extra large egg for lunch!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, EXEGGUTOR! USE EGG BOMB!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a group of thirsty tourists spot exeggutor and decide to decapitate each coconut shaped head, in an attempt to find juice!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CUBONE! USE BONE CLUB!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a sudden flash of lightning, burns you and your pokemon to a crisp.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MAROWAK! USE BONEMERANG!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Bonemerang misses TARGETPLAYER and circles around and zooms straight for your head, you are knocked unconcious and wake up naked with scribbles all over.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, HITMONLEE! USE LOW KICK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you arrested by pokemon rights activists and pokemon welfare for starving hitmonlee, despite hitmonlee having no mouth to eat with. 

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, HITMONCHAN! USE MACH PUNCH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Mike Tyson appears ,bites off your ear and kicking hitmonlee's ass.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, LICKITUNG! USE LICK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, willy wonka appears with his everlasting gobstopper, never one to deny a challenge lickitung and you spend the rest of your lives licking away.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KOFFING! USE SMOKE SCREEN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, TARGETPLAYER is sitting in the no smoking section.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, WEEZING! USE SMOG!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a stray bullet hits weezing, you suffocate in a cloud of toxic gas.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, RHYDON! USE MEGAHORN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, RHYDON seems to have a HORN INFECTION, guess you shouldn't have let it play with that pink RHYHORN.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, CHANSEY! USE SOFT BOILED!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you work as a waiter at a bed and breakfast, you client prefers his eggs sunnyside up and not soft boiled.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, TANGELA! USE VINEWHIP!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, tangela brushes past a super sized conservative ma...woman, you are arrested for being a pervert.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KANGASKHAN! USE COMET PUNCH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you try to ride in KANGASKHAN's pouch, only failing to notice the large whale until it is too late.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, HORSEA! USE BUBBLE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Yoshi arrives with a birth certificate, claiming HORSEA as his illegitimate child with a mermaid.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SEADRA! USE WATER GUN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a speed boat zooms past, it's blades cutting seadra into bite sized sashimi style pieces.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GOLDEEN! USE WATERFALL!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, your earlier decision to pee in the river, has caused parasites to crawl into your genitals. You are nolonger male/female.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SEAKING! USE AGILITY!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, SEAKING swims a little too fast and gets his horn stuck in a rock.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, STARYU! USE SWIFT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a time travelling ninja comes and cuts staryu in half, then proceeds to remove you right eye before disappearing.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, STARMIE! USE RAPIDSPIN!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you become a little dizzy watching STARMIE and vomit, alot.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MR.MIME! USE MIMIC!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, MR.MIME decides to mimic you, he picks up the pokeball and shouts return! PLAYER is absorbed by pokeball and MR.MIME disappears.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SCYTHER! USE CUT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, your SCYTHER hates to cut and decides to become a pacifist.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, JYNX! USE LOVELY KISS!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a number of cougars arrive and maul the both of you.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ELECTABUZZ USE THUNDER PUNCH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, ELECTABUZZ is put put on the endangered species list, put in a zoo and forced to mate with as manny eligable ELECTABUZZ as possible. You know you are jealous!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MAGMAR! USE FIRE BLAST!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Volcano living islanders mistake MAGMAR as a living god, TARGET PLAYER and PLAYER are sacrificed.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PINSIR! USE GUILLOTINE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, as a glorified pair of scissors, TARGETPLAYER slams a rock on you and PINSIR. 

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, TAUROS! USE PURSUIT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you seem to started a rather large police chase, causing 2million in damage, destryong 33 police cars, 4 boats and caravan.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PINSIR! USE GUILLOTINE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, as a glorified pair of scissors, TARGETPLAYER slams a rock on you and PINSIR. 

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MAGIKARP! USE SPLASH ATTACK!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, when the pokeball opens, it only contains a dead trout! PLAYER picks it up and slaps TARGETPLAYER around a bit with it.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, GYARADOS! USE DRAGON RAGE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a rather large and dormant shark is awakened and as a rule of nature, the bigger fish won.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, LAPRAS! USE SURF!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, LAPRAS is arrested for prostitution, apparently she gave alot of other people rides around the island.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DITTO! USE TRANSFORM!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, PAMELA ANDERSON needed new breast implants.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, EEVEE! USE TRUMP CARD!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Luckily you not only have only 1PP but your EEVEE has Adaptability, is holding a silk scarf and being boosted by a tag battle partner with helping hand, you deal over 5000 damage!
 
PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, VAPOREON! USE MUDDY WATER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.

Unfortunately, a large whale swallows vaporeon, and is somehow mysteriously catapulted hundreds of miles away.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, JOLTEON! USE DISCHARGE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, Jolteon is out of static electricity, you are forced to blow up a balloon and rub joteon's fur in order to develop more static.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, FLAREON! USE LAVA PLUME!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, you suddenly suffer from a bout of explosive diarrhoea, shouldn't have eaten that rotting whale.
 
PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PORYGON! USE CONVERSION!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, PORYGON seems to have caught a virus, your pokeball begins attempting to material nake women! You are arrested for people trafficking!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, OMANYTE! USE TICKLE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, OMANYTE miss targets and you end up being tickled till you urinate, how embarrassing!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, OMASTAR! USE ROLLOUT!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, OMASTAR rolls over a patch of oil and is unable to stop, he crashes into a rather large boulder and causes a land slide.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KABUTO! USE METAL SOUND!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, METAL SOUNDS does nothing except damage your ears, you are now deaf.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, KABUTOPS! USE NIGHT SLASH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, KABUTOPS slips and you end up not only naked but a eunuch.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, AERODACTYL! USE IRON HEAD!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, dinosaur hunters trap you and AERODACTYL in a huge bird cage, you spend the rest of your life trapped in a caveman style existance.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SNORLAX! USE SNORE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, SNORLAX rolls over while sleeping and you are crushed by his immense mass.
 
PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ARTICUNO! USE BLIZZARD!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, TEAM MAFIA rather disliking the cold gathers a large amount of explosives and with the help of your friendly neighbourhood terrorist, ARTICUNO is blown higher then sky high.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, ZAPDOS! USE THUNDER!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, ZAPDOS is proven to be genderless, confused by this ZAPDOS retreats to the himalayas.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MOLTRES! USE SUNNY DAY!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, a failed NASA launch rocket loses control and smacks into moltres, both crash landing into the pacific ocean.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DITTO! USE TRANSFORM!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, PAMELA ANDERSON needed new breast implants and now you know where silicone comes from.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DRATINI! USE DRAGON DANCE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, nothing comes out but a rather huge worm, PLAYER decides to feed worm to TARGETPLAYER.
 
PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DRAGONAIR! USE DRAGON RUSH!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, DRAGONAIRE is extremely shy and swims off into the ocean.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, DRAGONITE! USE DRAGON RAGE!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, MEWTWO spots DRAGONITE and recruits your pokemon in an attempt to take over the world!

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MEWTWO! USE ME FIRST!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, MEWTWO is banned from competitve battles, you are disqualified.

PLAYER whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MEW! USE METRONOME!' while throwing it towards TARGET PLAYER.
Unfortunately, MEW refuse to come out of his/her pokeball since it is missing an eyebrow.

EXISTING

<Orator> BlendEr whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SLAKING! USE SLACK OFF!' while throwing it towards mudkip.
<Orator> Unfortunately, upon coming out of the pokeball, the pokemon inside simply turns around and falls asleep on the ground.

<Orator> BlendEr whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, AIPOM! USE TICKLE!'' while throwing it towards lazygamer.
<Orator> Unfortunately, BlendEr has his/her cap stolen the instant the pokemon materializes.

<Orator> BlendEr whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, PIKACHU! USE VOLT TACKLE!' while throwing it towards will.
<Orator> Unfortunately, before the pokeball can even open, it is crushed by an airborne whale.

<Orator> BlendEr whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, SMEARGLE! USE SKETCH!' while throwing it towards lazygamer.
<Orator> Unfortunately, the moment the pokemon lays eyes on lazygamer, it begins to paint a portrait.

<Orator> BlendEr whips out a POKEBALL and fiercely yells 'I CHOOSE YOU, MAGIKARP! USE SPLASH ATTACK!' while throwing it towards dinosaur.
<Orator> Unfortunately, when the pokeball opens, it only contains a dead trout! BlendEr picks it up and slaps dinosaur around a bit with it.